Real Community vs. Online

Last night my husband and I enjoyed a leisurely discussion with some friends at a dinner party. It reminded me how fun the art of conversation really is. There were ten of us, and as I sat there listening and participating it occurred to me that many of us have been replacing online social networking for the real stuff. The face-to-face—yes, time-consuming—but heart-connecting activity that used to be the only way to socialize.

Maybe it’s just me, but as I’ve gotten older and my days even busier, it’s been easy to default to online social networking. Facebook and email and Shoutlife and other methods of communicating are more convenient when I can schedule it, not only for the “when” but for the “how long.” Writers like me might even be guilty of replacing real life community with the community surrounding the characters we create on the page. That sort of thing may be a replacement for community but of the counterfeit kind, and makes isolation easy.

Online communication is different from face-to-face communication, as I was reminded last night. So much more than words are exchanged in real life, real time, and conversations can go in all sorts of directions. We miss the learning and growing experiences of connecting with others if we rely too heavily on online social networking. I was also reminded that in order to create characters who seem real I have to live a real life—not a virtual one.

So that’s my word for this new day, this new week. Connect with others, and not only via blogs and twitter and loops; take the time to meet in person, share a meal, do life. If you’re a writer it’ll make your experiences richer and may very well provide some fodder for your next project.

Now, next week when I’m complaining that I haven’t written a word because I’ve been too busy socializing, will you please remind me there is a balance to life?

Off to live now…