That’s Not Fair!

Every parent gets to hear that phrase from their child sooner or later, usually in protest when something isn’t going their way. I read an article recently that suggested babies as young as 15 months old seem to recognize unfairness when they see it.

Have you ever wondered why we seem to have this demand for fairness, almost as a reflex? Conservative or liberal, young or old, male or female, we all seem to notice when our basic sense of fairness is violated.

And yet we don’t have to look very far to realize life isn’t fair. It’s one of the things my sister and I have reminded our kids since they were little: Life’s not fair; get used to it. Sounds so harsh these days, doesn’t it? When we’d rather not see our kids have to face the fact that they’re not the fastest or the brightest or the prettiest person in class?

So we concentrate instead on what they’re good at, because surely most if not all can excel at something, and feel good about something. We can nurture confidence in ourselves and in others by recognizing our strengths and polish those talents to our utmost.

Fairness is even more of a challenge when we take it outside our family, when we look at the world and see what seems to be unfairness all around us. But what’s the answer? Take from some and give to others? That’s nice as long as you’re on the receiving end, but eventually even those who are on the receiving end will lose something—freedom to choose what they receive, for example. They’ll get what’s doled out.

Uh-oh, I’ve just gone into political waters and that isn’t what this blog is all about.

My thought for the day: maybe fairness is a sense of justice, put there because we’re made in God’s image and He is a just God. Can real fairness be found in justice? We’re not all equal, but we all deserve justice.

I’m not sure how that plays out in practicality, but maybe that’s one way to think about fairness.